This process began before the recent Mauricio Torres trial started.
I love working at KNWA. It’s the second-best job that I have ever had.
One March when I was a student at Arizona State, I worked as “security” for Oakland A’s spring training games down the road at Phoenix Municipal Stadium. This was the ‘90s, and I put those quotes around “security” because I qualified for that term in the loosest possible interpretation of the word. I wore a polo shirt and shorts and sneakers and the extent of my job was getting on top of one of the dugouts between innings and walking from one end of it to the other until the game resumed in an attempt to discourage any shenanigans. I must have been amazing at it, because there was not a single shenanigan to be had under my watchful eye.
And actually, I misspoke. I did, in fact, have two other vital responsibilities. My buddy Erik and I would occasionally slingshot free t-shirts into the crowd. We were also responsible for selecting a suitable candidate to participate in an in-game promotional event called The Southwest Peanut Toss, presented by Southwest Airlines. This involved a participant standing on top of one of the dugouts and throwing packets of airline peanuts into a target for 30 seconds. I forget the specific rules and prizes involved. But I vividly recall that, more often than not, the contestant we selected happened to be an attractive young lady.
I was asked for my autograph once. Not by one of those ladies, but by a kid. I asked if he really wanted an autograph from me, but he insisted. He was collecting as many as he could, and for his money, The Dugout Guy warranted inclusion in his book of signatures.
That, dear reader, is the best job I have ever had.
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